God Slowed Me Down Today
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I am sharing a story today of a lesson learned, and a return to a demeanor which I prefer to preserve during the annual holiday rush and distraction(s).
A part of me has always dreaded this time of year in that the holidays usher in some not-so-Hallmark-y events and feelings. I have summed it up by declaring that I do not like contrived events, manufactured or mustered gaiety, nor anything obligatory.
I don’t want to feel obligated just because something rolls around, or I am expected to attend or somehow “perform.” While I do enjoy invitations and being included there is a part of me that when this time of year arrives I am simply tired. I may have been involved and included and obligated enough by way of my work and commitments - they have been part of my choosing, a commitment to be there for my clients. I did choose that. Admittedly, those important to me may have taken a back seat in my actions (and I hope not in my thoughts). It is time to gather with and to reach out across the miles to those I hold dear.
I believe that the holidays offer a perfect time to consider switching, or at least minimizing or reprioritizing the work. Let us make room for the reverence, the introspection, and the joy. Let us get with ourselves, get with our “tribes”, do some things that feed the soul.
Here is a story from a blog I wrote in 2017, about the lesson (and the gifts received!) when God slowed me down.
First, I figure He’s up there, always supporting me and so many as we go about our lives, and suddenly I slow down long enough to come into focus. I envision Him thinking “There she goes again, look at Nancy... 100 mph and still picking up steam. Not good. I shall thump her on the head, gently.” That is when I find myself inside a lesson. Here’s one from 2017 I shall not forget.
It was the busy holiday season and as usual I was rushing to get things done. In between casework, appointments and stopping by to check in with a friend (on the cusp of the monumental downsizing move) I realized I could have 30 full and glorious minutes in a grocery store. Better grab it. Who knows what the rest of the day or week will bring?
I made the decision to pull the credit card out of my wallet and just take that, my car keys and a fabric shopping bag into the store. Feeling I had a sufficient balance of the keys and card, and my arm through the bag’s handles I entered the store. I was all-mission, picked up six items from seven places and looked at one additional item, deciding against it.
Having completed my selections I went forward to the cash register and realized that the credit card was no longer in my hand! You likely know that unnerving feeling, so sit in it with me for a moment. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone.
Alerting the cashier of my dilemma. I asked permission to set the items to be purchased aside and then I quickly retraced my exact route. Six items, seven places. No card in sight.
I sped to the customer service counter and left my name, phone number and the type of card with the representative. I was directed to the head cashier and quickly snapped her in on my debacle. Deciding it was only fair (and since some of the items were frozen food) I gathered the original selections and again retraced the steps to place the items back in their proper locations.
Feeling really uneasy, I and my empty bag returned to my car and placed a call to the credit card company. Ironically the automated system asked me for my credit card number! I was able to finally be connected with a customer service rep named May who was able to view my account with minimal questions at that point. Because it was a Costco credit card I needed to be joined by a specialist named Ashley.
With a few more security questions I was able to verify the last transaction, establish a stop time, and request that a new card be issued. This would be overnighted to me, much to my delight, and at no extra cost. Thank you AMEX!
Deciding I indeed those items and with a glance at the time I re-entered the store retracing the steps yet again. During now my third trip around the store I had to muse that “God and Fitness” would be a great title for a little blog post.
Here’s the idea: there was really more going on than what was already occurring. This was a Thump On The Head, this was God slowing me down today. My reminders were both the event and the sinking feelings, the fear, apprehension, the disgruntlement of my inconvenience (stemming from my own actions, too). The realization and undeniable fact that I was indeed going too fast. That's when mistakes happen. If I go too fast with my own life that's one thing, but if I'm ever going too fast to properly serve my clients and their families then that's a different concern altogether.
In my Head Thump I was given this time and this discomfort to remember what my priorities are and to renew the vow that clients and their families must have my complete focus. Stop going on to the next thing, and the next, and squeezing in another in between if there is time. Honor your commitments first and simply.
That's why God slowed me down. But with the Thump that day came the gifts! The gifts I got in those same 30 minutes were
Multiple pleasant customer service reps (store and phone)
The promise of an immediate replacement card (surprise!)
Security, and ease
and this entire and memorable lesson.
Such gratitude. Can one be grateful about simply having gratitude?
Update: the retailer called and a Good Samaritan did turn in my card at the customer service desk. I asked if they thanked that person profusely for me and they affirmed that they had, as they too had been pleased at the actions from a stranger.
And so another gift was given and received: the confirmation of honesty existing in the face of temptation and greed. We see too little of honesty these days, it seems.
Since 2017 I’ve made some changes. Are any needed in your camp?
This year I vow to
Slow down. Examine and remain aware of priorities.
Shuffle them if need be over to what is really important.
If I realize that someone is important to me, I’ll let them know that.
If I realize that an action, a ritual, or tradition is important to me, I will do it.
Place value where your moral compass would have it, this and every holiday season.
Nancy Ruffner is a patient advocate whose focuses include aging strategy, healthcare navigation, and solo aging. Nancy consults with clients in a triage fashion, offering one-hour consultations to find a path, gain a deeper understanding of “how stuff works” in eldercare, or specifically to problem-solve. Schedule your 1-Hour session now, without obligation of commitment or continuing costs. nancyruffner.com