If I’ve Learned Anything About Myself, It’s… (read on)
If I’ve Learned Anything About Myself, It’s…
I push me. I have higher expectations of myself than others have of me.
I will plan, and then stress, replan, and restress until I reach “that point.” A point where I decide to either push through (at great personal cost, I am weighing all), or the (healthier) decision to reevaluate my direction and actions.
Have you ever been there? At that point?
You see, I am embarking upon a period of great change: Soon I am to (Surprise!) marry (!!) and will be moving to a nearby town and a new (to me) home. I will begin the plan I’ve had to redesign my work priorities. Restructuring my work will enable dedicated but limited consulting and speaking as I (attempt to) enter (Drumroll, and gasp) semi-retirement.
Folks, I must share that it is time for me to take that Off-Ramp, I’ve zoomed past it so many times. I’ve always envisioned a looooong off-ramp for me, too. During my time traveling that Off-Ramp I am to (more)_simply reorganize my time, how I spend it, and upping the (rediscovery of) leisure and the pursuit of passions. (That’s passions with an “S”, I am proud to say, like volunteering or placing myself in learning situations). I will proudly be practicing what I’ve been preaching.
The post for this week, February 18, 2026, the one I have been writing, even researching, is not coming together, for a myriad of reasons. ‘Might be (well, stress) elopement planning (who knew there’d be so much to that?), preparing to move (I need supplies! I need a mover! I need to change a bazillion addresses) or rejigging my work life balance and putting that into play.
It is now 1.5 days until the next installment of my usual vlog is due to be posted. I am not ready. I sit here, half-writing, majorly stressing (self-induced, I might add) and feeling a sense of dread like I might miss a deadline (will I?) and may not meet the expectations of my Community.
“When.”
I would hope that the kind of Community we have will afford me some grace.
I am going to stop (stressing and pushing) and put this in the email I normally send out. I can make that deadline.
The last time I attempted something like this was in 2023 (apparently I learned nothing, lol, or at least not fully. That’s why this smarts so much) when I went through several “life events” as they are called, all at once. I simultaneously bore devastating and moral trauma during the exacerbation of a family illness, was moving (myself) to a state where I knew no one, had just closed my patient advocacy agency of 11 years (grief work? Relief? No Time!) and was to change my entire practice and work approach from In Person, Boots-On-Ground to online consulting.
Here it is in 2026, and what I am entering now seems hauntingly familiar. Life events, and (self-induced?) stress or honor of obligation seem at stake. What is different now is that I see an opportunity to do things differently. I believe I will.
I am going to take some ME-time, miss a writing deadline, no doubt will be duly (and self-induced) mortified, and I will retain my sanity. There, decision made.
Boy, I hope grace follows. It would be salve for my (self-induced) guilt.
No one will be injured, and none will suffer; in fact, the world will not stop should Nancy not publish anything new (Insert self-talk like “You’re not all that and a bag o’ chips, Nancy”, and similar).
I will offer to you, My Good Community, an alternative read (and listen, or watch) opportunity during my brief absence. I am feeling F.U.D.G.E.-y, reacting to much you and I seem to know all too well. F.U.D.G.E. stands for Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt, Guilt, and Exhaustion. (GUILT’s got me, and I vow to ward off EXHAUSTION.
Enjoy now this revisiting of F.U.D.G.E. - the Emotions of Caregiving.
FEAR video, blog or audio
UNCERTAINTY video, blog or audio
DOUBT video, blog or audio
GUILT video, blog or audio
EXHAUSTION video, blog or audio
I shall be back in the (sanity) saddle soon, I promise. Gimme this one pass, please-and-thank-you.
Nancy Ruffner is a patient advocate whose focuses include aging strategy, healthcare navigation, and solo aging. Nancy consults with clients in a triage fashion, offering one-hour consultations to find a path, gain a deeper understanding of “how stuff works” in eldercare, or specifically to problem-solve. Schedule your 1-Hour session now, without obligation of commitment or continuing costs. nancyruffner.com