Future Me Is Calling - I Guess I Should Answer
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Today I want to talk with a different part of you. I want to speak with and to have you access someone you know and love: your future self. We’re calling it Future Me.
Have you ever talked with or planned for your Future Me? The inspiration for my segment today comes from a professional colleague; I wish to thank Carol Marak, author of Solo and Smart and her Solo and Smart youtube channel. I received an email that stirred something in me.
Your future self, your Future Me. Did you know you have one? Think about it, think planning for, and with.
Who better for, and who better by?
Did you know you can become friends with and plan for that Future Me? ‘ Talk about being best buds and havin’ things your way… who better for, and who better by?
I got some marching orders today by way of Carol’s email, a suggestion to find and befriend or reconnect with my future self, aka Future Me. That’ll surely be time well spent, I am thinking.
Friends, we gotta get our aging ducks in a row. Now is the best time, and we all know it, so let’s do it.
Let’s not be one of the ones caught short – because we didn’t, didn’t get around to it, our shuddas didn’t meet with fruition… forget projecting the Why We Didn’t’s (and don’t you just detest the articles that dwell on that, that come from the angle of fear-based or outright fear-mongering?).
Time to TCB, Y’all.
Let’s TCB (Take Care o’ Business), y’all, now, and let’s take heart that we are doing so for all the right reasons. Some of those might be
For all the right reasons
Get the outcomes desired
“You” plan (and communicate those plans) or “they” will
To have agency
We have capacity now, and can make those decisions better now than later.
We have more options now than when in crisis (I’m not fear-mongering, I am celebrating that we have a LOT more at our disposal now, when things are optimal). It’s kinda akin to “Do ya want to swing into the grocery to procure your food at a big store and regular prices, or do you want to be at a convenient mart buying their one, overpriced item that you absolutely must have?”
Back to our task du jour: it’s time to get in touch with our Future Me. Here is the query before us today:
Ask yourself this question - and answer it honestly, and in writing:
If I lost decision-making capacity tomorrow, who would step in with clarity, authority, and confidence on my behalf?
Well, c’mon folks, you either know or you don’t. And it is either clearly outlined in some form of written wishes or instructions, or not.
But here’s the thing: the message, the approach that I read was key for me.
It didn’t admonish. It didn’t blame. It propelled me into action, honestly and gently.
If no clear name comes to mind, that is not failure.
It is information.
And information restores control. (Carol Marak)
Sage words, I tell ya.
Information and control. I want both.
Performing this exercise, writing out your answer to the very good question is about visibility; we are helped to view our own situation clearly enough to act with intention rather than urgency.
It’s a signal.
This blog is a signal.
What you now think and write will be a signal.
What you do with that signal shapes how your Future Me will live.
Now, I like Me, and by default, I like Future Me. I want the best outcome for us both. I am absolutely doing this exercise.
Your Future Me is (always) with you, watching
Ooo, what if my Future Me were reading this post, right now? Would Future Me recognize immediately that I have been avoiding (or ignoring, and certainly delaying) some of this stuff?
Carol suggests (and this sure makes me feel both better and normal) that maybe we are not in touch with our Future Me
“Not because I am careless.
Not because I am irresponsible.
But because nothing has forced me to look closely yet.”
I am going to have a lil chat with Future Me. I am going to sit down, pen in hand, and write out the answer to
If I lost decision-making capacity tomorrow, who would step in with clarity, authority, and confidence on my behalf?
Since I and Future Me are best buds, I need to ensure we’ll be OK. I see no downsides to having a lil chat by answering that question.
Let us recognize this as opportunity
Let us recognize that this is opportunity…we are being asked to answer a question that will have us think about and will likely spur good action. It is in keeping with my favorite mantra
We can all have a say about how things will go and where we’ll end up.
Who among us doesn’t want that?
I have been a Patient Advocate for well over a decade now and I have seen the crisis situations present. All too often the outcomes are not optimal, and could have been prevented or at least alleviated with some thought and planning with Future Me. The conversations never held. The action not taken, the “roundtuits” made painfully clear. I’ve been there when the Yet becomes Now, and folks, it is not pretty (nor easy, nor cost-efficient, wherever your priorities lie).
What my friend Carol said here is absolutely true, so I will leave you with what I hope is a tugging thought. From my career in patient advocacy (many times from inside crisis scenarios), and from my own life experiences, let me affirm:
“Future Me’s rarely regret the plans we made too early.
They regret the ones we assumed we’d “get to later.”
Your Future Me rarely says, “Wow, wish we’d waited.” I’m just sayin’.
Opportunity.
Nancy Ruffner is a patient advocate whose focuses include aging strategy, healthcare navigation, and solo aging. Nancy consults with clients in a triage fashion, offering one-hour consultations to find a path, gain a deeper understanding of “how stuff works” in eldercare, or specifically to problem-solve. Schedule your 1-Hour session now, without obligation of commitment or continuing costs. nancyruffner.com