Pass the F.U.D.G.E. – Today’s Ingredient is DOUBT

Nov 17, 2022 | Aging Successfully

Would you rather listen instead? Click here for the 10-minute audio recording.

 Today I am back to offer you some more F.U.D.G.E…Those of you who read my social media may already know that this concept of F.U.D.G.E. means Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt, Guilt, and Exhaustion. I talk about it as it applies to our lives, but my main goal is to discuss how we can use each of these “ingredients” to our advantage.

DoubtDOUBT and Guilt and Fear and Uncertainty are all siblings and symbiotic. They are all part of the F.U.D.G.E as stand-alone ingredients, but they gang up inside F.U.D.G.E. The results of this surely contribute to Exhaustion. In a larger family, you know how some siblings can gang up and form a union of power or disruption? That’s what’s going on here.

DOUBT is looking for playmates to bolster its power. DOUBT is enlisting Fear and Uncertainty so it can bloom its way into stopping you or at least interfering with where you are trying to go or what you are trying to achieve. These F.U.D.G.E. ingredients are opportunists: they combine forces to get in our way.

My job today is to provide some ways to counter DOUBT so you can continue The DO.

The thing about DOUBT is that no one ever wants it. No one has ever invited DOUBT to join them in what could be an important decision or a pivotal time. And we sure encounter decisions and pivotal times, don’t we, whether we are navigating healthcare or changes with aging, or planning for our futures? Plates of F.U.D.G.E. are everywhere.

DOUBT needs little definition. We know it when we feel it. Uh-Oh’s. Hesitation. Sinking feelings in the pit of our stomachs.

DOUBT is the squirrel in the street. You’ve seen them: you are diving down a street, and you spot a squirrel, and they dart out in front of you. Then they face one way, then the other, frozen in fear – and then not. They change their stance, left, no right, no, left. Finally, many of us will slow our drive in response to give the little fella a chance. Not everyone does. Not everyone, and certainly not the world, gives a lil squirrel a fighting chance. Do you want to be the squirrel in the street or have directions? Direction is the antidote for DOUBT.

Direction is the antidote for DOUBT.

Sometimes the DOUBT is good. Remember, each of the ingredients of F.U.D.G.E. (Fear, Uncertainty, DOUBT, Guilt, and Exhaustion) serves a purpose. They pop up to protect us.

Take Fear, for example. If we encounter a snake, we may immediately recoil, gasp or scream  Our automatic response is to protect ourselves. Whether it’s full-on Fear or just the sense of it, we are protecting ourselves. Fear has a job to do.

Uncertainty, another ingredient, has a job, too. It has us pause, re-evaluate, and look for clues and information. The trick is not to get mired down by the less-than-positive parts that F.U.G.D.E. has to offer.

In my blogs about F.U.D.G.E., I’ve been talking about becoming aware when we are using too much of an ingredient, our mix or balance can be off. Every baker, cook, and chef has to make accommodations or substitutions and be flexible. So must we be in healthcare navigation, or elder care, or Solo Aging? We must manage our emotions.

When DOUBT creeps into our lives, it can signal that we need more information or input. That is why many folks seek out my help in consultation. “Am I doing this right? Is there anything else I need to know? Do I have what I need to get the outcome I want?”

We can employ DOUBT. The first thing many folks do when they realize DOUBT is present is to look for affirmation. Just as a small child will look to a parent to see if what they are about to do is OK, the child is seeking affirmation from a more experienced adult.

I meet plenty of folks when DOUBT is present or even overbearing, and together we find ways to acknowledge this intersection and move on into solution.

That’s a fine prelude to cite one of my favorite mantras: “Out of the Problem and Into the Solution”. Yes! Don’t you want to live there, in Solution, with me?

How do we get “Out of the Problem and Into the Solution”? How do we gain direction to leave DOUBT?

DoubtBack to this image. Do you see your marching orders within your Call To Action? It’s in the first two letters, the “DO.”

Get information – you would not be questioning if you knew all you needed to proceed.
Limit negative thoughts – Either don’t let them in or if you recognize their presence, do your best to extinguish them. Remember, you control what gets in and stays in, right?
Replace DOUBT with certainty – How do you attain certainty?

Do, as opposed to DOUBT.

Do, as opposed to DOUBT.
Do some research. Further your knowledge, further your confidence.
Do talk with others to gain their experience and begin to uncover pitfalls and potholes.
Do ask questions about everything. Understanding and information are your tickets out of DOUBT.
Do speak with a professional who can offer tried and true information. I am here to help you learn the Lay of the Land and How Stuff Works quite simply. That’s navigation.

From the Do comes the direction.

From the Do comes the direction.

In whatever combination that works for you or you and your loved ones, my job is to journey with. You are still in the driver’s seat; I may be in the back with the map. You still stand at the captain’s wheel; I will be back at the rudder, and together we shall look ahead, adjust our sails, and get to the outcome desired.

There’s more F.U.D.G.E. to come. Ha! Like someone on a diet, it seems we will always have F.U.D.G.E. as a constant in our lives. It’s how we react to it that counts. It’s what we learn from it, and how we choose to use that opportunity.

If ever I may assist you or someone you encounter with The F.U.D.G.E. of healthcare navigation, eldercare matters, planning for successful aging, or the challenges of change, I invite you to contact me. As always, I hope that something I’ve shared today will help you to move forward more comfortably in life.

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Too much F.U.D.G.E. (Fear, Uncertainty, DOUBT, Guilt and Exhaustion) on your plate? Discuss your concerns, ask Nancy questions of Nancy, find out how we can get you where you need to be! Book your Complimentary Consultation today.